


GAY WEREWOLF MARRIAGE!

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [48]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, DOMA, Drabble, F/M, Gay Rights, Gay Werewolf Marriage, Humor, M/M, Other, Reaction, SCOTUS, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 09:40:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Who gave him a megaphone?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	GAY WEREWOLF MARRIAGE!

**Beacon Hills:** WOOOOOOT!

**Stiles:** …OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

**Derek:** Yes. It’s very exciting. Please get off my spleen?

**Stiles:** But…PROP 8!

**Derek:** But my spleen….

**Scott:** And DOMA!

**Stiles:** YES! AND DOMA!

**Derek:** All of which is super exciting. I would just appreciate if you moved your gesticulating to someone else’s lap. How about Boyd’s?

**Boyd:** No.

**Stiles:** Boyd says no.

**Derek:** I SAY NO!

**Stiles:** Yeah. But you aren’t as scary.

**Derek:** Damn it. I’m the Alpha?

**Stiles:** We know. It’s very intimidating, we promise.

**Derek:** Why do I hang around with you guys again? I could be off with grown ups. Doing grown-up things.

**Scott:** Like what? Bashing your abs against a cubicle?

**Stiles:** I’m not sure adding a cubicle makes that a grown-up game.

**Scott:** Oh. Whatever. Boyd, wanna go bash our abs against a tree until…

**Boyd:** Yeah, sure. The crowd is getting a little claustrophobic.

**Scott:** Cool. And then I gotta go find Isaac and Allison, so we can get gay werewolf married!

**Allison:** Honey, threesome-marriages are still not legal…

**Isaac:** Damn it!

**Allison:** Also, I don’t think ‘werewolf marriage’ is a thing.

**Scott:** Werewolves can’t get married?!? This is OUTRAGEOUS! I’M GOING TO…

**Allison:** That’s not what I…

**Stiles:** Isaac…

**Isaac:** Yeah, I’ll deal with it. *as he leads Scott away* Honey, we’re still in high school. We don’t need to get married right now. Plus, I’m pretty sure Chris is still super not okay with Allison dating the two of us…

**Derek:** I do grown-up things. Last week I talked to a girl. I think she liked me.

**Stiles:** That’s adorable. Wanna get gay werewolf married?

**Derek:** Um. Did you miss the part where I talked? To a girl? I like girls?

**Stiles:** So do I. Bisexuality. It’s a thing. We can still get gay werewolf married.

**Derek:** Stop calling it that. I beg of you.

**Stiles:** Only if you agree to get—

**Derek:** You are in _high school_. We can’t even get together in a non-creepy way for another two or three seasons. And I like girls.

**Stiles:** Sure you do. This season.

**Derek:** And probably next season. Let’s face it, that’s gonna have to be a slow transition. I mean, I’m _super_ repressed.

**Stiles:** Fine. So, in four seasons, will you get gay werewolf married to me?

**Derek:** Fine. As long as you stop calling it…

**Scott:** …AND WHAT KIND OF SOCIETY DO WE LIVE IN WHERE…

**Derek:** Damn it. Who gave him a megaphone?

**Scott:** …EQUALITY FOR WEREWOLVES WHO JUST WANT…

**Stiles:** So, exactly how important was it to you that werewolves remain a secret?

**Derek:** Eh. We’ll deal with that tomorrow. Today DOMA was ruled unconstitutional!

**Scott:** …IT’S NOT LIKE I’M A TURTLE…

**Stiles:** Yeah. Let’s be happy we can get gay married, and worry about werewolf marriage if people start actually taking Scott seriously.

**Scott:** …AND DO YOU KNOW HOW HOT WEREWOLF THREESOMES ARE?…

**Derek:** I’m not super worried.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want updates as they happen, follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope!


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